Thursday, May 29, 2008

This too shall pass.

Hurry up and wait. Get there faster, wait longer. Why? Because they can make you. Just for the hell of it. Waiting has become such a big part of my life at this point - so big that it has consumed me, really. My monthly rent check reminds me that I have one fewer month to wait, as does my phone bill, electric bill, water bill, etc. It's the silver lining of paying our bills. I told Aaron today that I actually enjoy paying them - the methodical writing of the date on each check reminds me that time really is going by, slowly but surely, in an attempt to reunite us. Sometimes it feels like time has come to a complete halt, and it even feels like it's going backwards on some days, but then I take a step back and look at the big picture. As my guitar teacher just said today, it seems like Christmas was just yesterday. I remember waking up Christmas morning, in New York with my Dad, Stepmom, sister and brother, there to see my Grandmother, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. The first thing I thought of was how it had been only 15 days since Aaron had left, and how impossible the next 435 of them seemed. Now, about 281 days remain... not such a daunting number anymore. If I can do 169, I can do 281. It's all about numbers...
10%: The percentages of Christmases in Aaron's life that he will have spent in Iraq as of December 25, 2008 (2004, 2007, 2008)

8+: The number of years Aaron will have been in the Army by the time he gets out (including the crossing of our fingers that he won't get stop-lossed...)

460: The number of days we will have been married by the time Aaron gets back

28: The number of the above days that we will have actually been in the same zip code while married.

3: The number of diamonds on my ring finger :)
2: Hearts

1: Love

So, from Christmas of last year to now, time has been doing it's thing. It tricks, it treats, it whizzes and it whirls. It makes you want to pull out your hair. It makes you want to do cartwheels. It's an all-around finnicky concept, but what I am beginning to realize is that in order to get by, you need to embrace its finnicky-ness. With wrinkles and deployments, you can't fight time, for time will always win in the end.

Here are some nice little quotes to leave you all. Thanks for reading my first post!

"How much of human life is lost in waiting." ::Ralph Waldo Emerson::

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ::Joseph Campbell::

"I never thought it was worth it, you know, waiting for your love, and then I felt your kiss... I could wait forever for this." ::Anonymous::
"Between the wish and the thing life lies waiting." ::Anonymous::

"If you have time to whine and complain about somehting then you have the time to do something about it." ::Anthony J. D'Angelo::

And finally,
"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." ::Henry Van Dyke::

1 comment:

Aaron said...

Your very first comment....and certanly not the last. Congrats wife. I still cant get over what talent you have for writing. You description of life and our time together brings me back to those wonderful places and times of Joy. Dont stop writing, just dont. This is a form of therapy needed for both of us. I Love You. And yes your right...this too shall pass...

Why we wait.